My paper and MY LIFE STORY!

Hi guys! :) I did it! So as many of you have heard me complain... sorry about that, I have been working on a PRE a Persuasive Research Essay for pretty much the whole semester, but more intensely this past month. I wrote my paper on bullying or in other words Bullying: The Legal Crime!  As if you all don't already know, I live everyday thinking of my platform of "Loving the Person Within" and what I can do and say to help others. This paper ties directly to my drive for my platform. (If any of you are wondering, I did not make it within the word limit!  I am very close but I just couldn't get it all the way down to where it was suppose to be!) I did however decide to share with you my pretty much final product of my paper! Hopefully it makes you want to do something, or learn who I really am. My heart and soul is in this paper and I hope you enjoy it!

Bullies: Only You Can Prevent Them from Hurting More of Us

Abstract:

                Having spent many years of my life under the influence of a bully, I am in shock that people have let bullying get so far out of hand. Bullying has become deadlier than ever before. Students are being victimized on a daily basis, if not multiple times throughout a single day. In order to protect students from being bullied, students should participate in a student driven anti-bullying intervention; because, the students being bullied are relatively more comfortable talking about the bullying issue with peers than with adults, the students see the bullying first-hand, and the students can learn life skills. As students, you can take a stand and reach out for your peers. This essay is composed of my personal opinions and the opinions of several experts which are noted throughout.

            Bullying is not always what it seems. As students, you all share the same common desire of acceptance, by your peers, but how each of you tries to obtain that acceptance is completely different. I know from first-hand experience that being bullied is something that affects you for many years to come. I understand that some think that bullying isn’t a problem, but it is a serious problem. In order to protect students from being bullied, students should participate in a student driven anti-bullying intervention; because, the students being bullied are relatively more comfortable talking about the bullying issue with peers than with adults, the students see the bullying first-hand, and the students can learn life skills.

 In the beginning of fourth grade I thought I had it all, I was doing okay in school and I was friends with the “popular” girls. One day I made a mistake….I said I liked something that they thought was lame. At recess they called me out in front of everyone and told me they never wanted to talk to me again. I thought my life was over, but of course the next day was worse. It was a sunny spring day as I walked around the playground desperately trying to find someone that would play with me; however, I felt colder and colder with every person that walked away or ignored me all together. I felt so alone! My mind racing, stomach churning, heart pounding, maybe they are right. I’m stupid, ugly, weird, annoying, fat, and there is nothing I can do about it. I am a loser!

            Many of the current bullying intervention programs rely entirely on adults; however, bullying predominantly occurs where adult supervision is minimal. These interventions mean well, but the adults involved don’t fully understand everything bullying has become. Olweus, a professor of psychology,  defines bullying as “when a child is exposed, repeatedly and over time to negative action on the part of one or more other students” ( qtd. In Piskin). His definition shows that these victimized students are made to suffer at the expense of a select few.

            I started junior high wanting to start over. Throughout the next three years I bounced between so many different friends; I could have set a new record. As I walked down the mile long hallway to my locker, the whispering, laughing, and pointing all grew so intense. It’s as if I had my own theme song. The song’s chorus goes, “Don’t be that girl’s friend, she is a lesbian.” My heart breaks every time the lyrics pierce my ears. Biting my lip, I held in the flood of white water tears raging inside. This rumor like many others started from those I thought had once been my friends.

            A question often asked by students is ‘do teachers even care about preventing bullying?’ A study done in Australia showed that a substantial amount of the students surveyed were of the opinion that teachers were not interested in stopping bullying (Rigby). Some teachers do care, but students don’t have the desire or feel comfortable enough to ask their teachers for help. In fact, students usually keep the experience of being victimized to themselves or share it only with peers (Rigby). If students are more likely to tell a peer, then why not create an anti-bullying committee of peers?

            School was a living nightmare. ‘Why was no one helping me?’ I finally got the nerve to ask for support from my teacher. My teacher said, bullying is part of life and that I need to stop trying to get attention. ‘Attention?!? Are you kidding me? Who would want this kind of attention; can’t they see I need help?’ Finally my ninth grade year arrived and I became friends with “Sally.” I did everything Sally said and wanted without even realizing. It had become so natural to do anything to please others; I thought it was what I wanted as well.  When my senior year of high school finally arrived I thought the bullying had ended. I actually had friends! Having these close friends made me start thinking that maybe I was happy and I just didn’t know what happy felt like. Sadly, my senior year proved to be the opposite of my dreams and hopes for happiness.

            Millions of students are being torn down, trampled, and belittled by the people they attend school with. Not only is bullying continuing, bullying has continued to become an even larger problem than before. Technology has increased the speed of many of our everyday routines; however, it has also increased how quickly a bully can reach each of his or her victims. John Cloud, an Ambassador for the U.S. says, “at least bullies of previous decades had to hold you down before they could spit in your face” (Cloud). Today bullies not only bully you to your face, but they also use texting and social networking sites.

            Sally literally stabbed me in the back. The summer before my junior year I met this guy that lived in Michigan. We talked on the phone for over a year; we liked each other. Sally didn’t approve of this and took it upon herself to destroy it and me. She almost succeeded. My life had rapidly gone from an upbeat chick flick into a horror film. She harassed him by texting him calling him names and saying unbelievable things.  

            Bullying involves only a perpetrator and a victim (Graham). This is a myth because several people, such as bystanders, are affected and participate in the bullying. Being a bystander, not only gives you an automatic role in the bullying, but also increases bullying (Marlowe). “A study of bullying incidents on playgrounds found observers present in 88% of bullying situations but intervening only 19% of the time” (Marlowe). When was the last time you were a bystander that did nothing?  

            He stopped talking to me altogether. Although the harassment wasn’t directed to me, I was a bystander and was directly affected. I was a total wreck for over a week. My body was shaking uncontrollably, I couldn’t eat anything, I had a splitting headache, and what felt like a sword in my heart.

            Becoming a part of a student bullying committee does more for students than just preventing bullying. “A primary way in which individuals acquire knowledge is by doing. By being involved they are learning social skills necessary to address similarly complex issues in the future” (Marlowe). Being a member of this committee allows students to be creative, be a leader, and be involved. Students have the ability to not only change others lives forever, but also learn a variety of life skills. 

            Soon after the nightmare is when things really hit me… I didn’t know who I was. This realization was the sequel to my ongoing horror film. It was one of the scariest things I have ever experienced; I had lost myself. I didn’t know my own likes or dislikes, something that was so simple had been taken away from me. It was definitely a rocky road, but the rest of my senior year was remarkable and I wish it hadn’t ended. I found me! My story has a happy ending, but sadly most bullying stories don’t.

            Students are the ones that see the bullying, hear the bullying, and experience the bullying going on at school; therefore, why haven’t students been the ones to stop it? It is important to remember that you, as students, have a valid opinion and perspective in dealing with this issue. Making an effort to say only positive things about others and standing up for those who are being bullied are easy steps to eliminate bullying altogether. Your peers are hurting and they trust you to help them through. You can stop being a bystander today, by preventing the bullying before it begins. Think of all the lives that can change for the better, and the skills you will learn in the process. A student driven anti-bullying approach is the key to prevent bullying!

Work Cited:

Cloud, John. "Bullied To Death?." Time 176.16 (2010): 60-63. Academic Search Premier. EBSCO. Web. 17  Feb. 2011.

Graham, Sandra. "What educators need to know about bullying behaviors." Phi Delta Kappan 92.1 (2010): 66-69. Academic Search Premier. EBSCO. Web. 8    Mar. 2011.

Marlowe Smaby, et al. "WE'RE NOT GONNA TAKE IT: A STUDENT DRIVEN ANTI-BULLYING APPROACH." Education 125.4 (2005): 546-556. Academic Search Premier. EBSCO. Web. 17 Feb. 2011.

Piskin, Metin. "School Bullying: Definition, Types, Related Factors, and Strategies to Prevent Bullying  Problems." Educational Sciences: Theory & Practice 2.2 (2002): 555. Academic Search Premier. EBSCO. Web. 17 Feb. 2011.

Rigby, Ken, and Dale Bagshaw. "Prospects of adolescent students collaborating with teachers in  addressing issues of bullying and conflict in schools." Educational Psychology 23.5 (2003): 535. Academic Search Premier. EBSCO. Web. 21 Feb. 2011.

WELL....  There you have it! I hope everyone is having a fabulous day! As always I would love to hear your comments! :) 
~Barbie!